Need Help With Ex!!! Please I Am Desperate!?
ByHi guys I know this is pretty long but please help me out if you can find it in your heart to aid a really down college student.
I will choose a best answer and dish out points whenever possible
Alright so basically, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up like 3 months ago because she said that she needed time to “grow up”. Basically, we decided to still be friends because we really still like each other and get along great. However, I am still very much in love with her.
The problem is that lately I’ve been feeling really down around my ex and kind of jealous and I don’t know why. She’s basically perfect at everything. She’s very attractive because a lot of guys flirt with her, wears size 00 pants, exercises constantly, her parents are wealthier than mine as she lives in a half a million dollar house and her dad retired at the age of 48, she always gets whatever she wants (material-wise) i.e. she has two pairs of Uggs, wears all Abercrombie clothing, gets the newest iPod every year, breaks her cell phone at least 3 times a year, has two pairs of Sperry type shoes, and gets Tiffany and Co. jewelry costing around $175 once a year (She gets all this stuff usually for Christmas or just because presents but she always gets whats on her list of wants), she makes friends easily, has time to join lots of clubs in college, works as a store model for Abercrombie and has a higher GPA than me while majoring in journalism, and sometimes I feel like she has all of God’s blessing even though she is extremely atheist.
However, I am the complete opposite as I always work for what I get. I’m in one of the top 10 business schools in the nation but struggle to maintain a 3.0 GPA and spend most of my time studying, I haven’t met very many people in college because I’m trying to save money by living at home with my parents (my ex lives in the dorms which her parents pay for even though her parents live 2 blocks away from campus), I spend all my free time at home, I don’t find myself as attractive because I’ve only worked for American Eagle and I am Asian, my parents want me to earn things so I have to work to pay for my clothes, cell phone, car repairs and other stuff I want unlike my ex.
I just feel crappy to the point that I’ve been unmotivated to study and I want to sleep all day. I’ve stopped going to the gym and I have been wallowing in my own self-pity, I’m always wishing that my parents were a lot richer because my ex gets to finish college at her own pace while I’m pressured to finish in 4 while her parents can also afford to let her take summer classes not only at where we go to school but to other colleges such as New York University and/or Chicago to make her workload easier while I don’t have that luxury. She also got a chance to study abroad twice.
The only thing I feel like I have an advantage over her is that I know how to invest and save my money better than her because she can’t save her own money at all. She doesn’t even know how the basic definition of a stock or how a credit and debit card work. I am very ambitious and always look for ways to make extra money through investing and saving but I always still feel down because I know that she’ll still get ahead of me in the future because her father is already investing money for her for her retirement in the thousands already.
Not only does she get all that stuff but her little sister and her brother get all the stuff they want to. Her sister basically gets everything my ex does like a new iPod at the same time my ex does and wears Abercrombie only also. However, if she doesn’t get her way at all, she always throws a fit (I’ve been there to witness it) until she gets her way. I don’t understand how she gets all this stuff either. Is it possible to get a life like this when her dad worked as an engineer for GM for 20 years and is now retired and her mom is a territorial manager for Johnson and Johnson?
Despite all this I feel like God’s let me down. Why does he bless people that don’t believe in him? Should I stay away from my ex even though I still love her? She is white and we’ve known each other for 4 years and dated each other for 2 and a half years. Can a relationship with 2 different people like this work out again? Why do I feel this way? I get really jealous because no girls flirt with me at college compared to guys hitting on her. What should I do? Am I even in her league at all?
6 Comments
November 26th, 2009 at 8:20 am
With all the turmoil you are in, I would say yes, you should stay away for a while. It’s really hard to remain friends with an ex unless a lor of time has passed.
I wouldn’t necessarily consider her blessed with things from God. She’s spoiled and so are her siblings. It’s going to be very hard on them when they hear “no” in the real world.
November 26th, 2009 at 9:13 am
STOP this at once…look at yourself..whats wrong with you? You even talk about God. A God-fearing guy does not compare himself with others materially, and then ask God why He doesn’t make them as successful as the non-believer. So stop that at once!
You are too caught up in comparing yourself with someone you are supposed to LOVE. If you were together and eventually get married you would be a “miserable man”. Life is more than just what a person possesses; its more than material things. How DARE YOU LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF like that because of what a girl has. Your parents taught you the right stuff, you are a smart person. GPA or no GPA anyone who does not klnow how a debit or credit card works is not a bright person by any modern standard (lol)
I tell you something, as an expert with women (no player, just expert…I am a counsellor as well) I would NEVER have a girl like that for my lady unless she loves me…really really loves me to the extent that I see beyond her being a spoiled rich kid who gets avery and anyhing she wants. Run son RUN …RUN RUN…stop killing yourself. And before I go let me say this…..” The purpose of life, is a life of purpose”…Stop being materialist. Furthermore, the measurement of a man’s success is not found in how far he has to go but how far he has come” In other words, your success is about how far you are coming from, not how far you have to go.
November 26th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
No to be mean, but you need to mature as well. You will realize, along with a million other adult things, that it matters not how many pairs of Uggs someone has.
Yes, they have great jobs and can likely afford whatever they want and have a financially great life. Excell at college and you will have an even better one if material things are all that are important to you. Just don’t forget REAL love along the way. That brings real happiness as well.
November 26th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Lol I already dont like her stay away from her seriously see other people and dont let yourself go because of her.
November 26th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
That sad that you would even think God let you down. Have you ever thought that he lets you meet some of the harshest persons so you can appreciate the one that is truly meant for you? Pick up a hobbie and get to know the people that makes a difference in society than her. I find that its the simple things that bring people joy.
November 26th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
god does a thing called pruning he takes things away to make you focus on the big things, so don’t care if you are no good if she liked you at one point she must really like you knowing she could have someone better trust me that is my life and i just sit it out and pray and ask for help and i might go out with this girl i like (1st time)
The Guy Who Is So Confused